So, the Cash for Clunkers program is apparently so popular that it ran out of cash.

This shocks me. Seriously. When I saw the stipulations on the deal, specifically the incredibly restrictive requirements for your old car to qualify as a ‘clunker’, I was shocked.

From Cars.gov:

How do I know if my car or truck is an eligible trade-in vehicle?

There are several requirements (but you also have to meet certain conditions for the car or truck you wish to buy). Your dealer can help you determine whether you have an eligible trade in vehicle.

Your trade-in vehicle must
have been manufactured less than 25 years before the date you trade it in
have a “new” combined city/highway fuel economy of 18 miles per gallon or less
be in drivable condition
be continuously insured and registered to the same owner for the full year preceding the trade-in
The trade-in vehicle must have been manufactured not earlier than 25 years before the date of trade in and, in the case of a category 3 vehicle, must also have been manufactured not later than model year 2001

Every time I think I’m cynical enough, the Democrats surprise me and show that I am not nearly jaded enough.

This is just an incredibly badly designed policy instrument. It rewards people for buying wasteful vehicles in the past, and actively punishes those who were more responsible.

A handy example: I wanted to trade in our second car, a 1995 Dodge Caravan. The only problem: it gets well over 18 mpg combined. I can’t give you the exact figure at the moment because the official fuel economy site is down, but it’s over.

So… if you were a selfish prick who bought a Hummer two years ago, you can cash in. Or an Excursion/Navigator, what have you. You’re eligible.

But my 14 year old POS van, which leaks fluid and burns oil, is too CLEAN. Which I’m sure must come as a relief to the watershed… or the apartment complex whose underground parking lot is now permanently scarred from the leakage.

Sigh.

A properly designed Cash for Clunkers program would have had, at a minimum, some standard method for depreciating cars. Everyone in their right mind knows that cars get dirtier and less efficient as they age. Evaluating a 10, 15, 20 year old car on its ‘New’ miles per gallon is fantasy akin to flying horses and elves. It’s just not credible.

Such a program would also probably have a provision decreasing payments for cars very recently purchased. Everyone has had time in recent years to see the price of gas, to learn about global warming, and to shop around for better options. The Prius is, what, 12 years old now? At some point, stupidity and selfishness have to have a negative incentive applied.

Instead, we get the exact opposite. There is no penalty for irresponsible purchases, for that shiny newish H2 you no longer want; there is also no allowance for the natural decay of aging cars. All they care about is the value, written on paper, for the ‘New’ MPG. Tell me: is there some magical car factory, somewhere, that is connected to 2009 by a portal through time, still making 1995 Dodge Caravans. No? THEN WHY AM I LOOKING AT THE ‘NEW’ MPG?!

There are two ways to look at this program: it’s either a submoronic implementation of bad policy… or it was designed to reward the selfish and the short-sighted who have come to regret their chrome-encrusted monstrosities.

Perhaps both.

Hat tip to Fire Dog Lake.